by Julian P. Tarrobago, Jr.
It’s easy to relish Life when things are going well. Experience, however, attests that Happy doesn’t happen 100% of the time–and that rough times can suck the joy out of this mother trucking life. When overwhelmed or feeling stuck, one often gets trapped in helplessness, fear or rage—-potentially leading to anxiety, depression or disease. So when things aren’t going well, it helps me to remember that living is largely about learning—that challenging events present valuable tools–always meant to teach us something. Always.
My name is Jun and I’m on an on-going quest to discover my true, unique gifts– to share with my loved ones and with the rest of the world. In this blog, I share the 50 Truths I picked up over the past 49 years–that helped me survive, thrive and enjoy Life—amidst all the Ups & Downs. I’ll dive into enhancing emotional awareness and gaining a deeper understanding of what’s actually causing them, and how I’m learning to express myself without harmful consequences, and other tools proven to alchemize challenging moments into relationship-building and deepening experiences.
On turning 50 & taking charge of Life
2023 is extra special because this year I turn 50. I used to cringe at the idea of reaching 50—commonly associated with arthritis, diminished memory & bladder control and other unglamorous stuff. In recent years though, I’ve learned to appreciate & embrace this state, also known as ‘Eldership’, which in tribal settings implies being a Mentor, Protector & keeper of Wisdom and Stability.
‘50’ can mean a lot of things and,aside from references to the police (5 -0) or the 1991 Ford Mustang, 50 also connotes a time for change, deliverance, freedom from a burden, self-determination, independence and taking charge of your Life.
Life of an Underdog, with Exhilarating Ups & Excruciating Downs
That said, any attempt at change, freedom or deliverance requires some past perspective, in my case the last 49 years–all felt and filled with exhilarating Ups, and excruciating Downs. I grew up in a house full of love, but which yearned deeper expression, connection and financial security. In the 90s, I survived a totaled-car crash in Tagaytay, then lost Mom to another car crash 2 years later. To start my career, I landed my dream job as a stock market Analyst, then got fired just 2 months in and, despite not receiving any Mentorship, was told I wasn’t good enough to work in Financial Markets. I persevered, found the right mentors and went on to build a prolific & lucrative career as a Fund Manager.
In the 2000s, I met and married the Love of my life, Meg–a magnificent woman and incessant source of joy & excitement– my Queen. Few years after marriage, we lost our first child to miscarriage, and went into a proverbial dark night in our lives. Meg then started her journey of self-discovery & mastery, initially via Meditation & Mindfulness–a path I soon would follow, though at a much slower pace. We were then blessed to become parents to 2 wonderful souls, Qristo & Yesu—who inspire me to be a great role model and to access & embody the best version of myself. These, plus a burning desire to truly appreciate, understand & enjoy Life, have pushed me on a path toward Self-Mastery– paved by in large part by life experience & relationships, as well as wisdom from Mentors, Courses and from joining Men’s Groups.
My 50 Essential Truths—in 5 Parts
With My Story still far from over (I hope!), I distilled the most important Truths I picked up over the last 49 Years, and share these in 5 parts—each representing vital aspects of my Life: (1) Practices for Nurturing Body, Mind & Soul, (2) Insights on Sacred Union or Marriage, (3) Realizations on Fatherhood & Parenting, (4) Truths on being a Provider, and lastly, the (5) Other Essential Stuff that needs to be on this list. These worked for me and invite you to contemplate your own growth, and perhaps reassess attachments to beliefs or practices that no longer work or hinder your growth. For the first 10 below, I suggest you pick one or two truths that resonate with you, if any, and focus on integrating/practicing them for the next month. Keep what works, and discard the rest, then integrate the next 2 in subsequent months:
- You are/ I am Enough
- Practice Accessing Inner Peace
- Define your Purpose & Live your Mission
- Cultivate Presence. This is your Greatest Gift
- Develop a Healthy Relationship with your Shadow
- Build Confidence by Keeping Agreements with Yourself
- Practice Detachment & Unconditional Love
- Prioritize the Body’s Basic Needs
- Find Humor in anything
- Quality of Life is Related to the Quality of Your Relationships